Image courtesy: Charcoal on canvas by my sister Tripti Thakur
Oh! It’s a baby girl!
The utter disappointment in the croak of voice from the parents grieving at the birth of their daughter……. The unfortunate newly born that I am!
Let her use the leftovers of food, clothes, and toys from her brothers, we don’t need to spend unnecessarily on her!
Recipient of such scorn from my relatives and family……. The disregarded infant that I am!
Why does she need to study or go to school? She will be spoiled!
Fastened in the ignorance of this mindset……. The deprived child that I am!
She must learn the household chores, Afterall, she doesn’t have to worry about earning for her family when she grows up!
Quietly recoiling at such biased opinions……. The disgruntled adolescent that I am!
‘Marrying her off and getting rid of our burden, is a tiresome and draining project for us’, आखिर, बेटियाँ तो पराया धन होती हैं!
Living with this horror and dejection everyday……. The scared adulthood that I am!
It doesn’t matter what your daughter can do, is good at, or how pleasant-natured her personality is, etc. etc.;
How beautiful she is, and What monetary value is she bringing with her to our household – are the only concerns we have deep-rooted in our attitude!
Silently resenting this outlook of my prospective ‘HOME’ ……. The compelled bride that I am!
Women in our house, don’t go out and work!
You cannot earn more than me!
I am a man, I can go to office outings, how can you even think of traveling with male colleagues!
So, what if you are just back from your office, you are a woman and you need to cook and take care of children!
No matter what may be the scenario, dealing with such discrepancies……. The anxious wife that I am!
Mom, why don’t you go to the office like dad? Why can’t you speak fluent English? You embarrass me in front of my friends! Let dad attend my school meetings!
Struggling with these bickerings of my children and simply wiping off my hurt with a bright smile……. The defenseless mother that I am!
You don’t spend enough time with me, Mom!
Am I ignoring my duties as a mother by devoting my time to my office and work?
Entangled in the uncertainty of my life’s decisions……. The worried working-mom that I am!
My heart desires to break free from the constant pressure of becoming a certain kind of perfect in every role! I want to be ME for once!
I want to have my dreams and live them…
I don’t want to perfectly balance my life; I want to make mistakes…
I want to stand for myself and I don’t want to be judged for my every move, step and decision in life…
I don’t want to compete with a man in a man’s world; I want to do the best I can as a woman while cherishing my existence in a free world…
I want to be loved for being a woman and I want to love being a woman…
I want to be respected for who I am… because I am the Woman that I am!
Dedicated to all those girls and women who are yet to see the light of the modern and liberated world… the ones who are still buried in the harshness of the family and society pressures in every nook and corner of our country…
And to those who are blessed to be among the progressive, and yet, face the challenges of being a woman everyday… To all the women!
“This post is a part of ‘The Woman That I Am’ Blog Hop #TheWomanThatIAm organized by Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul #RRxMM. The Event is sponsored by Kraffitti.”
Why do we strive to be perfect in every role? There are still so many people with exactly the mindset set out in your poem. For them a girl is a burden and in many households even today a wife or daughter in law is just a glorified maid. The only way to change this is if we change ourselves and fight against such mindset and set our own place. Hoping that with time people will change their mindset.
Yes, sadly it is true! Thank you so much for reading. Hoping for the change for all!
Unfortunately, even in this 21st century, this is true in many households. Very beautiful poetry and excellent charcoal sketch. – Yatindra Tawde
Thank you so much for reading and appreciating the poetry and the sketch. Wishing for every household to see the light of the change.
Reading you through the blog hop
call me old fashioned but i strongly believe that respecting women is of utmost importance. They are mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters. In order to create a better world and become better versions of ourselves, everyone must treat women with love and respect. Being a woman in today’s world is a big challenge.
Rightly said! Respecting women in every role is very important. Thank you for reading and appreciating.
Some points really make me sad, we are living in a century where women are doing as those tasks which the society couldn’t imagine a century ago but the real condition of the woman and the majority of the woman are not good. They have to live and follow the same rules and regulations which they have to follow in the 18th century,
Nothing changed much in the thinking of the society but now I feel the woman started to speak their rights and those things which are not right.
Deepika Mishra
Sad but yes very true, so many redundant follow-ups from past still prevalent largely everywhere. Thank you so much for reading!
Absolutely true, no matter what role a woman plays at what stage whether she is infant, a tween, a teen, an adult, a wife, a DIL, a daughter, a colleague, things become harder when it comes through her way, comparatively to male community, Hopeful for a better and brighter future for women in comings years. Very well written.
Thank you so much, Archana! For reading and liking.
Beautifully put. A girl child as soon as she is born is somehow put in certain categories and has to live within them. A woman has to strive to be perfect in each role and not be appreciated. All points so well brought out. Very well written.
Deepika Sharma
Thanks a lot, Deepika! 🙂
I was eagerly waiting for your post and rightly so. As you have depicted in the poem, some things might have changed but largely, mindsets remain the same. A woman leads her life according to her parents, then her husband and then her children. When does she be herself. Well-penned and thought provoking!
🙂 Thanks a ton, Surbhi! This means a lot coming from you.
What a hard hitting slap on this patriachal society. Wonderful write up. You have brought out the inner turmoil at each stage a woman faces beautifully. Just remember you are perfect with all your imperfections and you are beautiful the way you are. You don’t need any approvals or disapprovals.
Keep flying keep writing keep being the woman that you are.
#RRxMM #TheWomanThatIAm
Thank you so very much 🙂 Such appreciation and motivation go a long way! Means a lot!
I really found your post as practical truth you identified not so liberated society and empowered multitasking woman of the era, 😊superb ! That you dedicated the post to both ✨️✨️✨️
Thanks a ton, Sivaranjini! 🙂 for reading and appreciating!
What a beautiful write up it is!! So so intense and so deep! How thoughtfully you described each and every emotional aspects of a woman living in darkness. Really, these women still need light to enlighten their path of life, and all this need education. Only education can remove all the superstition and dumb culture of this society. Beautifully written, absolutely loved it Jyoti! More power to you.
Thank you very much Swarnali! Made my day 🙂 As you rightly pointed out- Education is the key. Thanks for reading and appreciating.
This surely is the truth in many parts of the world and not just India and also like you said times are changing and things will turn out good soon. With a positive expectation of these things improving soon and with a lot of hope, looking forward to a changed society soon. Loved your post, Jyoti 🙂
— rightpurchasing.com
Yes times are changing and we look forward to a brighter future for everyone 🙂 Thank you so much for reading and appreciating!
This is a sad reality, Jyoti. And across classes. It is time women start demanding respect instead of avoiding ruffling feathers. Only then can we see a change in the social mindset.
Great to have come across your blog all thanks to the blog hop. Wishing you the very best.
Yes very true Ritu. Thank you so much 🙂 many thanks to the blog hop, it is a pleasure to come across so many bloggers and authors. Happy to know you 🙂
Lovely post about a sad truth. Why are we woman compared, judged, questioned, always weighed in perfection meter….
I’m imperfectly perfect and request all to accept me with my strength and weeknesses both.
Change is coming but it’s very slow really wish for that leberated society to be a truth. Nicely penned.
Thank you Pragun! Very rightly said 🙂
Beautiful portrayal of inner conflicts which is deeply imbedded in our society and unfortunately transcends cultures. The action or reaction relating to this burden of bias may be expressed differently but remains inherent nonetheless.
Your words bring the harshness of reality to surface, creates awareness and respectfully acknowledges the unscathed spirit of life that is woman.
Beautiful illustration by TK!!
❤❤❤❤❤❤💕💕 Thank you 🙂 Love you 🙂
Why do we need to be perfect? Sadly, no one wants to answer that question. Well-presented post with all the prejudices that haunt a woman at every stage of her life.
Thank you Srivalli! To the imperfection! 🙂
These issues have settled so snuggly in our mindsets… beautifully penned!!
Thank you Deepti 🙂
So many women go through these horrors on a daily basis. The rejection,the ridicule, the curbing of freedom.
You have presented it very well. And the charcoal sketch is stunning.
Thank you Purba 🙂 for reading, and thank you for appreciating the writeup and the sketch!
This makes me sad and thoughtful too. A girl right from the childhood has to learn to survive, has to prove herself and even though she proves herself at each step yet she’s still the inferior one. Loved your poem.
Thank you so much Ruchi 🙂
It is so crucial to see and speak about these everyday struggles that are real for most women in India and everywhere, and yet how we face these with resilience and hope. Loved the structure of this post.
Thank you so much Pooja 🙂
A very touching post..The thoughts in the post is sad but unfortunately true..But I feel we as women are very harsh with ourselves.. Each word you wrote spoke volumes. Best wishes always..
The charcoal on canvas by your sister was also amazing…😊
Thanks a lot 🙂
Thank you so much for reading and appreciating 🙂
Sadly this is true in most parts of India. A few enlightened parents bring up all their children equally. You have beautifully brought out the struggles that we go through when we are born female!
Yes, very true Brinda. Thanks for liking the post 🙂
Totally loved it, Jyoti. Every word of it. Women are judged no matter what they do or don’t do. Nobody accepts us for what we are….and we call ourselves progressive!!!
Janaki@beyondthefamiliar
Thank you so much Janaki for the appreciation. Am really glad you liked it.
Oh and by the way, please tell your sister that the painting is awesome!!
Yes I will 🙂 Thanks a ton!
👏👏👏👏I really loved reading this thought provoking post. Very well written, what women have to go through and how they stand strong despite all odds. I don’t want to compete with a man…. Nice
Thank you so much Sonia 🙂
“The worried working mom that I am”- The guilt never goes away! Let go and become a bit selfish!
Yes well said 🙂 Thanks Neeraja!
One of the most practical posts in the hop I must say. You have written all the hardships a woman faces since the minute she is born. Times have changed but there are many still who are suffering. I hope we are able to change things and make the world a better place for all women. Long way to go though.
That’s such a huge compliment. Means a lot! Thankyou for reading and appreciating 😊
Yes, a long way to go 👍
Sad reality, where we women are judged for our choices. Nobody thinks about what we want and how would we want to lead our lives
True. Thanks for reading:-)
Beautifully penned! From birth to death, Women are subjected to these patriarchy nonsense. You have nicely expressed these in the poetry. Kudos!
Thankyou so much Poorvi 😊
Jyoti it’s a wonderful article which shows reflection of our society. So proud of you dear. Tripti’s painting is brilliant.
Thankyou 😘🙏🤗🤗
So aptly put by you. A majority in our society still lives with these archaic values. Perhaps, write-ups like these may bring a positive change, let us all hope so!
Thanks a lot 🙂 for reading and appreciating.
Beautiful depiction of a woman’s reality. Right from birth to death, always some misconception associated with a girl child who’s always set in a boundary before she even realises her leap potential.
Thankyou so much Zenobia!
Societal pressure on girls and women is such a huge burden to bear. Women have come a long way but the way forward too is really long too. I wait for the day when she is valued enough as to not have to fight for her rights. Lovely post
Meena from balconysunrise.wordpress.com
Thankyou Meena, for reading, liking and sharing your views 🙂
Very well-structured post! You have portrayed the exact emotions and dilemmas of a woman, it is sad to see that even today we are fighting for our basic recognition as an individual who can be imperfect.
Yes Priyanka, sadly we see that often around. Thank you for reading the post and sharing your views.
I feel so restless whenever I come across any such article. It gets into my nerves😡. I hate it the most when even females don’t support female. But together I wish one day this will change. Kudos to your writing Jyoti !
Thankyou so much Nidhi. Let’s stand together and pledge to work in unison.:-)
Beautiful penned .but this is the true and sad reality in our society. A woman after marriage she is not a property. people just need to treat her with respect, make her just like a queen, love her, honour her and give her a reason to return the same. loved the post.
Thankyou so much for reading, liking and sharing your views Surabhi 😊
When I read your poem I was floored the way you have brought what a woman feels at every stage of life. It’s a sad reality whether she belongs to a progressive or regressive family but she has to face her own set of challenges from patriarchal society.
Very true. Thankyou so much for liking and appreciating 😊
Women do indeed have to face many challenges from the moment, but I am glad that things are finally changing. Even if the change begins with a small demograohic, at least it is a change!
Yes 😊 Thankyou for reading and sharing your views Noor!
This scenario happen in my life. My doll was thrown away by my grandmother as she thinks I play with them that’s why a boy doesn’t born in our home.
That’s really sad. More sad is when a woman brings misery to her own kind. Thank you for reading the post.
You are right . We women don’t want to give some competition to men . We just want to Be ourselves and develop our potential , without being judged.
True! Thank you Monika 🙂 for reading and appreciating.
Our society is a big hypocrite. The well educated members of this society are also still living in the iron age when it comes to female child. Some sick experiences I have seen around are I don’t want a female child because she won’t be taking our name forward, Is she unmarried koi chakkar hai kya?, Tum bahu ho apni aukad mein raho, kuch kamati toh ho nahi ulta bete ke paise kharch karti ho, beti ke ghar reh nahi sakte, and what not. A change is in order. #damurureads Urvashi
Very true Urvashi. The list is neverending. To the change 👍
Thankyou for reading and sharing your views.
It’s the sad reality of our society.Don’t know when people are going to realise the importance of a woman.
Sangya Nagpal
Thankyou Sangya!
My favourite part of your words was
I want to make mistakes..
We should have room to make mistakes.. we should make the space to be ourselves without judgement..
Powerful piece of writing
Thanks a ton Namratha 😊
Love the poem and the way you portrayed being a girl and woman in our society. Though we have reached till moon, still women are still struggling for their identity.
Thankyou Shipra for reading and appreciating!
I just loved your post. There are still women out there who are suffering. So nicely penned down thoughts.
Thankyou Abha! yes there many who are still suffering. Thanks for reading and appreciating.
Your post made me cry. You highlighted how difficult it is to be a woman. Hope things change and women get their due at the earliest.
While there are many who are privileged and have supportive people around them, there are still many who need to see the light of positive change.
Thankyou for reading and appreciating!
The society judges, but know what, we can make small changes at home and make our girls self-sufficient. I strongly believe that education and independence shouldn’t be gender specific. If any sacrifices are to be made, at least let them be by her choice. Not by force.
Very rightly pointed out Varsha! Thankyou 😊
women should be loved and respected for what they are. Most of us live a life dictated by others. love the poetic way in which u expressed ur thoughts. 🙂
Thankyou so much Supriti!
The charcoal painting is amazing! As for your post, it is very true that these constant pressures take a toll on our happiness. We need to stop letting others dictate how they want us to be!
Thankyou Sonam!
no doubt the world is prejudice but we are no less, we are so hard on ourselves that we keep on evaluating if we are doing 100% duties to be a perfect mother, wife etc. we must stop being hard on ourselves and live life.
Thankyou Ujjwal, for reading and sharing your views!
The bitter truth of every women life. Loved your poetry dear Jyoti 🙂🙂
Thankyou 😊
We may be living in metros or small cities, literacy rate may have gone up but the duality in the society exists and still has a long way to go. Wonderfully penned down, the story of many.
Thankyou Manisha!
Beautiful sketch and Amazing poetry!!!
Thankyou so much Reena 😊
This is the sad reality, women in this century are free to be what they want. The expectations are never ending… I hope we have a better future for coming generations.
Thankyou Disha for giving it a read and sharing your views.
Real but true. Have heard these sentences and am as concerned as you are. Work , home, children balance is quite a task. And trying is the best we can do.
Being held responsible is what disturbes the balance. When there is a good news… God is great. When things go haywire… it’s because women were busy at the meeting.
You post must bring about some change. More people must read it and realise the tiny yet important details mentioned here.
Good luck!
Thank you so much, Srishti! For reading the post, appreciating, and sharing your views.
It’s really sad to see the plight of women even in this modern era. The only positive thing is women are raising their voice and things are changing for the better. Hoping for better times soon. You have presented your thoughts in a very organized way. Loved reading it. Glad to have you as a part of this blog hop 🙂
Thankyou for the appreciation Rashi! And Thankyou for giving the opportunity. It has been a wonderful experience being able to share our thoughts on this platform and interacting with such amazing writers/bloggers/authors and their brilliant write-ups. Looking forward to such continued interchanges!😊